No More Fear
by itsabeautifullife
Summary: An alternative to episode 6x08 in which Kurt and Blaine don't marry then, but instead have a heart-to-heart talk about their relationship after they reunite, and Kurt later proposes to Blaine once they move back to New York. Includes all the things I wish had happened in regards to their reunion. Tiny bit of angst, but mostly just sweet.


_I wrote this in response to episode 6x08. Although I loved that Kurt and Blaine had finally reunited, I was disappointed that we never saw a true conversation between them about the issues they had previously encountered in their relationship. Kurt's comment to Blaine of "I know things were messed up before, but it's ok now" did not constitute a real resolution about anything. I think the issues that led to both of their breakups had some common themes that could've been easily explored. I also would've preferred a proposal by Kurt and a separate focus regarding their plans for a wedding, instead of a last minute plan thrown in with Brittany and Santana. So this story was designed with all that in mind. In it, I extrapolated how Kurt might have known that Blaine was single again, how he seemed to know Blaine had a new apartment, their reunion and a follow up discussion about their relationship, as well as mentions of their move back to New York and a later proposal by Kurt. It begins during the summer after season 6, flashes back to parts of 6x08, then returns to summer again. The 6x08 scenes have been altered. Unfortunately, I could not include Walter's speech to Kurt as I couldn't figure out how to incorporate that into the narrative and timeline, although I did love the sentiment he shared with Kurt in that episode. I hope you enjoy this. Kurt's point of view. Of course, all disclaimers - I don't own Glee or Klaine (but wish I did). _

**No More Fear**

Kurt's mind was racing and his heart was pounding. _Why am I so nervous? This is Blaine._ Despite how much he tried to calm himself, he couldn't help his jitteriness. He loved this walk of theirs. He and Blaine often spent their free summer days walking through a New York City park. They found it peaceful to visit the Central Park gardens or walk along The Lake and view Belvedere Castle from a distance. Sometimes they just sat on a bench beside The Lake, secluded by trees and talking in hushed tones as they watched the ducks and boaters beyond them on the water. Other times, they opted for the busy activity happening on the lawn of Bryant Park where they liked to relax on the adirondack chairs of Southwest Porch and watch families playing on the grass nearby. Today was another beautiful walk together, much the same as usual. But for Kurt it was different. If only he could pull himself together long enough to follow through with the task he had set for himself today.

As they walked, he remembered their difficulty of last fall when they were not together. It had been their second break up, in fact, after Kurt had ended things in a moment of anger. The guilt of that sometimes still swept over him. He often wondered how he could have walked away from Blaine, the man who was everything to him. Once he had figured it out - that he and Blaine were meant for each other and he had to fight to get him back, he returned to Lima where Blaine had retreated after their break-up. But he was only met with heartache when he learned Blaine was now dating Dave and no longer available. He was crushed at this news, feeling no choice but to back off from his pursuit. He could only silently hope that one day they may find their way back to each other again. As they spent bits of time together in Lima, it became clear to Kurt that there was still something there between them. Blaine didn't seem to consciously recognize this, though, Kurt could tell. But Kurt knew it. And he waited. And waited. Waiting for some door to open. In the meantime, Kurt dated another man - totally a rebound, but nice enough. Still, Kurt understood where his future lay - with Blaine.

Then the door finally appeared. It came as he helped Brittany set up for her wedding in a barn in Indiana. As Kurt stood on a ladder to string up some lights to the rafters while Brittany held the ladder still from below, she asked "Kurt, why are you dating Walter?"

Kurt paused from his work and looked down at her. He was always a bit surprised by how frank she could be sometimes. She and Santana had that trait in common. As he looked back up and continued his work, he answered "Uh, I don't know. Just something to pass the time, I guess. I'd much rather be dating Blaine, but he's with Dave and..."

"But he broke up with Dave. I thought you knew."

As Kurt heard those words, he almost dropped the string of lights he was holding. "Wait, what?" He knew his voice sounded shrill and he could feel his heart beating faster at the thought of what Brittany had just revealed. "What are you talking about, Brit?" he quickly clamored down the ladder so he could get better clarification from her.

Sam had overheard this bit of their conversation as he stood nearby arranging chairs. "It's true," he called out to Kurt as he walked over to him. "He ended it with Dave 'cause he still loves _you_. He went to the choir room last week to tell you this, but then we were heading out on that double date with Walter and Rachel, so he couldn't say anything. He called me later that night."

Kurt was dumbfounded as the memory of that moment in the choir room swept over him. He remembers Blaine rushing into the room with some urgency, but then suddenly having nothing to say. Kurt couldn't figure it out in that moment, but now he understood. As Kurt came to this realization, he was still confused about one thing. "But why didn't he say something later? Why has he _still_ not said anything?" This was more of a thought out loud to himself than a question to Sam or Brittany.

Sam provided the explanation. "He's waiting for _you_. You didn't pursue him while he was dating Dave and he's wondering if you still want him or if you've moved on. He said something about not wanting to get his heart broken again. I think he's just scared. He's not sure what to do."

Kurt heard Sam's words, but not really. His mind was still spinning. He couldn't even articulate all his thoughts at the moment and only knew he had the urge to run. He turned and began to silently walk out of the barn.

"Hey, where are you going?" Brittany called after him.

Kurt realized he had just walked away from Brittany and Sam and turned back to them to explain, "I, uh, I gotta go. Sorry Brit, I can help you more tomorrow." He then turned back and began to run to his car. He didn't notice the looks between Sam and Brittany who knew full well what was on Kurt's mind.

Kurt drove from Wayne County, Indiana to Lima as fast as he could without being reckless. What is usually an hour drive along I-70 only took him about 40 minutes. He finally reached Lima and exhaled a breath he didn't realize he had been holding as he made his way through town toward Blaine's apartment. When he approached the building, he realized that Blaine may no longer be living there due to his break-up with Dave. He wasn't sure what to do at that point. He pulled over and got out his phone to call Sam.

He heard it ring only once before Sam picked up. "710 Holly Street, apartment 3C" was all Kurt heard.

Kurt just laughed, "Thanks Sam."

"Yep, of course," Sam said as he hung up.

Kurt drove the few blocks to the address Sam had given. After he had parked and began mounting the flight of stairs that would take him to Blaine's apartment, his breathing picked up and a twinge of nervousness began to sweep over him. He paused momentarily on the 2nd floor, then continued up another flight to the third floor at a faster pace.

By the time he reached the door of Blaine's apartment, he was a bit out of breath due to the speed he had eventually developed as he climbed the stairs in his urgency to finally get to Blaine. He knocked on the door quickly, and his breath hitched when he heard the click of the door as it opened.

Blaine stood in the doorway. Kurt realized he must have looked upset or panicked because Blaine asked, "Kurt, are you ok?" Kurt realized now was the time to finally speak to Blaine about all he has felt over the last two months since returning to Lima. Or well, really over the last several months since their downfall that led to their break up. Or actually over the last four years since they first met. Everything. Now was the time for Kurt to make it all real for Blaine. No more doubts. No more questioning or freaking out or letting his anxieties cloud his love for Blaine.

So Kurt pushed Blaine into his apartment, holding him by his shoulders as he said, "No, I'm not ok. I love you. I still love you. And I want you back. I'm so sorry for everything. Oh god Blaine, I have so much to say. But I just want you back..." Then Kurt had a fear that maybe Blaine had met another guy since he had broken up with Dave last week. It's possible. Maybe there was some guy in the next room. Or maybe...Kurt knew he was letting his nervousness get the best of him, but he couldn't help it in the moment. He glanced around the room. "I mean, unless there's someone else."

As Kurt stared into the beautiful hazel eyes he knew so well, all he heard were the words, "There's no one else," and then Blaine's lips pressing into his and Blaine's arms enveloping him. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like much longer to Kurt. It was their first since their break-up... or, well their first real kiss that was not laidened with complication. It was just them. And Kurt sunk into it.

When they parted, Kurt smiled and took Blaine's hand and led him to the sofa. He sat them down, still holding Blaine's hand. Blaine looked at him expectantly.

"We need to talk," was all Kurt said to clarify.

Blaine nodded. "Right, yes we should talk."

Blaine then took a big breath in and opened his mouth to speak, but Kurt cut him off. "Can I start? I've thought about things and I have a lot to say." Blaine nodded silently. Kurt continued, "I am so sorry for ending it with you in New York. I think I was just scared and confused. And I was mostly scared of my own love for you." Kurt looked down at his lap and took another deep breath, then returned his gaze at Blaine. "I feel so deeply for you - you mean more to me than anyone else in my life. And I'm sometimes fearful of what would happen to me if I lost you in the way I lost my mom or Finn or almost lost my dad. I don't know how I'd handle that." Kurt paused for another deep breath. "So in order to protect my heart, I sometimes pushed you away and unconsciously told myself you didn't mean that much to me so I could avoid the pain I'd feel if I lost you." Kurt recounted all this for Blaine, somewhat thinking out loud to himself. He looked down at his lap again and stared at their hands that were still clasped. "I know all this sounds crazy. Like why would I push you away when I was afraid of losing you, but..."

Blaine interrupted him, "No, no I get it. I totally get what you're saying." Blaine took Kurt's other hand, "I get scared too. But instead, my fear makes me cling too tightly to you because sometimes I'm afraid I'll lose you if I don't. And that only pushes you away more."

With a sigh, Kurt responded, "So the fear of losing each other makes us do things that sabotage our relationship." Kurt responded as Blaine nodded in return.

"Yeah, I guess so. I wish we didn't do that. " Blaine stared out a nearby window as he made this realization.

"We do it because our love is so deep and we get scared of it. But maybe if we just recognize this, we can strip away the fear and just live in our love." Kurt was looking at Blaine who had continued to stare into the distance beyond Kurt. He could tell Blaine was in thought, so just waited.

When Blaine looked back at Kurt, he took in a deep breath, then smiled. Kurt melted and leaned in to kiss Blaine. It was short, but tender and sweet. When Kurt pulled back, Blaine simply said, "Ok."

"Ok? Ok, what?"

"Ok to what you're asking. You're asking to get back together with me, aren't you? You're asking me to recognize our love and work through things with you. You're asking me to let go of my fears and just love you and let you love me." Blaine answered, more as a sure statement than a point that needed to be clarified.

Kurt slowly smiled. "I've missed you."

Blaine pulled Kurt into a long hug as he responded, "Oh god Kurt, I've missed you too...so much." As they parted, Blaine added, "I thought I'd lost you forever."

"You never lost me. My heart has always been with you. I had just lost track of it."

"Well, I've kept it safe for you." Blaine then leaned in close to Kurt as he continued, "And you can't have it back."

"I don't want it back." Kurt closed the short gap between them and kissed Blaine again. A kiss that led to more.

A week later, Kurt and Blaine attended Brittany and Santana's wedding in Indiana as groomsmen. Dressed in their white tuxes for the event, they stood to the side of the barn, watching guests arrive. They had spent much of the last week together, now unable to part for long as they renewed their relationship. Kurt had moved into Blaine's apartment and they found living together again to be remarkably easy in contrast to their previously contentious experience of last spring. The old arguments and annoyances that so easily arose before were gone now. The agony they had experienced in being apart these several months and the revelations they had discovered about their fears and patterns had equipped them to approach their new relationship in a less encumbered way. They were intentional now to make it all work. And in that short time, it became clear to them both that they were different this time around.

And now, hands clasped as they leaned over a wooden railing waiting for the ceremony to begin, they admired the decor of the space that had been so dramatically changed into a beautiful countryside venue. "This is lovely, Kurt. You did a great job helping Brit set this all up. I love the little lights strung up and the draped cloth. It's all so beautiful," Blaine commented.

"Well, I only did bits and pieces of it actually. There were many hands in the effort. And this last week, I wasn't much help 'cause I spent so much of my time with you." Kurt bit his lip as he glanced over at Blaine.

"Yes, I think I recall that." He returned Kurt's look with a coy smile.

They held that look for a long second until they were startled out of the moment by a boisterous voice. "Hey, there you guys are. Blaine, I haven't seen you at all this week. Where've you been? Or maybe I should take a wild guess on that," Sam called out as he walked toward them.

"Hey Sam. Good to see you." Blaine chuckled.

Sam slapped Blaine's arm. "I'm so glad you two finally fixed things. I mean, we all knew it would happen eventually, but it was such a downer watching you guys look so unsettled all the time without each other. So when's your big day gonna be, huh?"

"What?" Kurt responded, knowing full well what Sam meant, but feeling off guard by the directness of his question. He and Blaine had not spoken of marriage this last week. Kurt knew the topic of their future would likely come up soon, but he also knew they were intentionally not rushing that conversation just yet in the fledgling state of their renewed relationship. Kurt still had the engagement ring Blaine had given him a year and a half ago and he knew he would wear it again someday. But he wasn't in a rush either. He had always thought it best to marry at a later age and the pressure he felt of a young engagement had played a part in their demise before.

Kurt glanced at Blaine and saw him looking down at their hands, not responding. Sam picked up on the awkwardness of the moment and quickly excused himself, "Hey, I agreed to help Mr. Schue set up the sound stage for the reception. Good to see you guys." And he was gone.

Kurt had kept his gaze at Blaine who was still looking down. He knew Blaine had wanted to marry him months ago as he saw no need for a long engagement. Blaine then looked up at Kurt with a flirty smile. "I did not tell Sam to ask that, I swear," Blaine laughed.

"I know." Kurt slightly bumped Blaine's shoulder with his own. "And our day _will_ come."

"Really?" Blaine asked with a hint of clear excitement in his voice.

"Of course. There's no question about that. It's just a matter of time."

Blaine smiled as he stared across the barn toward the rafters and Kurt could see he was lost in thought.

"Blaine," Kurt said to pull his attention back toward him. Blaine turned and looked at Kurt, still smiling. "I know you. You have all kinds of gears turning inside your beautiful head. But do me a favor and let _me_ be the one to propose next time."

Blaine had a momentary look of disappointment and Kurt knew he had probably already been planning a second proposal since the moment they had gotten back together. However, his face quickly softened with a nod and a sweet smile that melted Kurt. "Ok," Blaine said as he leaned in with a kiss that made Kurt start to question his need to wait so long for an engagement. Maybe it would happen sooner than he had thought.

Two months later, they moved back to New York to resume the lives they had once created there. Blaine was accepted into NYU's music program and Kurt continued his education at NYADA. They found a new apartment in Bushwick not too far from Rachel who had also returned to NYADA. Spring in New York was warmer than usual and Kurt and Blaine found plenty of opportunity to explore the city they loved. Their new life together felt much improved than their previous spring and sometimes Kurt found himself randomly smiling for seemingly no reason. But he knew the reason - he was with Blaine and it all felt right this time. The story of their last 4 years together had guided them to the positive and healthy space they had now discovered in their relationship.

As summer set in, and they both took a break from their classes, they found life slowed down a bit from the usual pace of the school year. Kurt had resumed his internship at Vogue when he returned to New York, which included some extra summer projects. Blaine worked at a children's day camp, leading music classes for the summer. On their days off, they savored their time together.

And now, here they were again – a lazy summer Saturday walk. This time it was Bryant Park, Kurt's choice. They walked in silence along the promenade paths that were lined with lush trees. Silent walks had become common for them, not feeling a need to fill the space with words, but simply valuing each other's presence. Usually these walks were low key and relaxed for Kurt, but today felt different. He tried to mask his nervousness by casually glancing around at the foliage nearby, but he kept needing to inhale deeply and he found himself fidgeting with the small broach he had on his lapel.

Blaine eventually stopped walking and pulled Kurt around to face him. "What's going on, Kurt? You seem nervous or something."

"Really? Why do you think so?" Kurt asked, trying to sound calm, but knew he didn't.

"Uh, maybe because you seem preoccupied and fidgety and unable to breath and your hands are super sweaty," Blaine answered as he held out the hand he had been holding.

Kurt took a deep breath as he looked into Blaine's inquisitive eyes. "You know me too well. But yes, I have something for you." He resumed their walking, pulling Blaine across the lawn.

"Where are we going?"

"Just wait." Kurt glanced at Blaine with a flirty smile.

Kurt ended this jaunt at a beverage stand that sold juice and smoothies. Kurt pulled them in behind a short line that had formed as Blaine eagerly bounced slightly. "Oh yea, I love this place. I think I'll get a mango smoothie. Or maybe a..."

"Sorry, I already have something ordered," Kurt interrupted.

"What? Already ordered? But we just got here."

"Yep." Kurt kept his gaze straight ahead toward the beverage stand, remaining coy.

Blaine just laughed, "What is this? What's going on?"

"You'll see." When they reached the front of the line, the clerk at the stand noticed Kurt and smiled.

"Oh right, Mr. Hummel, we're ready for you." He handed out two steaming cups to Kurt who smiled as he handed one of them to Blaine.

Kurt said nothing, but walked away from the line toward the grassy lawn as he sipped the hot drink.

Blaine followed Kurt and gazed into the cup Kurt had given him. "Hot chocolate? Is this hot chocolate? But its summer and ..." Kurt then noticed Blaine looking around the lawn as he slowly smiled. "Ohhh, I get it."

"You remember now?" Kurt asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "This is where we ice skated that first Christmas I was in New York. We had broken up, but you and dad surprised me with a visit. Of course, it was a wintery place then, so unlike now, but this is where it all was." Kurt looked around the lawn, then back at Blaine as he continued, "We skated, drank hot chocolate, walked, sat, talked. For a couple of hours that night. And even though I was still mad at you, I also wasn't. It felt so right with you 'cause it always does. Like a part of home had come back to me. And I think that was the moment I realized, if only unconsciously, that we would find our way back to one another eventually. And then we did. And now here we are. Living in New York together and planning a future."

Blaine's smile melted Kurt, as it always did. "Kurt, this is sweet. You brought me here to share hot chocolate again and remember that Christmas...But who is that?" Blaine looked back toward the beverage stand. "They don't sell hot chocolate there in the summer."

"I know. That guy is a student at NYADA and I arranged for him to have it ready as a special order."

Blaine briefly laughed, "You're amazing Kurt. I love you."

"I know," Kurt responded in a mock smug way. "But I didn't bring you here just to share hot chocolate." Kurt took Blaine's hand and stepped toward a nearby adirondeck chair, gesturing for Blaine to be seated. "I came here to do this." He knelt down on one knee in front of Blaine, set his hot chocolate on the ground, then took Blaine's free hand in his.

Blaine's eyes grew big. A few people sitting nearby seemed to understand what was about to happen as they put down their magazines and books and took notice of Kurt and Blaine. Blaine inhaled as he briefly put his hand over his mouth and teared up slightly. Kurt chuckled to himself at how adorable Blaine was in his shock. _Ok, here we go. _Kurt took a deep breath, then began, "Blaine, _you_ are the amazing one. My life was never the same after I met you. You took me out of a cave and introduced me to the brightness of life. Your smile, your voice, everything you are, all of it. I completely love you. I cannot imagine my life without you. And I don't _want_ a life without you. _Ever_." Kurt then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, opening it to reveal a simple gold band. Blaine beamed with a smile bigger than Kurt had ever seen on him. "This ring was my dad's wedding ring when he was married to my mom. He gave it to me before we moved back to New York a few months ago and told me I could do whatever I wanted with it as long as I made sure it represented my heart. And my heart is, and always will be, with you." Kurt inhaled a big breath and continued, "So, Blaine Anderson, will you please marry me?" The smile on his face mirrored Blaine's.

Blaine was immediate in his response, "Yes, of course." Blaine was tearful and smiling simultaneously as he leaned toward Kurt and grabbed him into a big hug. The small handful of people watching nearby clapped.

After parting, Kurt placed the ring on Blaine, then reached into his pocket again and pulled out another ring. Showing it to Blaine, he explained, "this was the ring you gave me when you proposed over two years ago. When we broke up, I kept it because I couldn't bring myself to let go of it. I think a part of me always knew I'd need it again someday." Kurt then handed it to Blaine with a coy smile. "And _now_ I do."

Blaine took it and slipped it onto Kurt's hand. "I love you, Kurt… so so much," Blaine said, his tearful voice breaking at the end. He then gazed at the ring on his hand as Kurt sat onto the chair next to his.

Kurt lifted Blaine's chin toward him as he responded, "I love you too," and leaned in for a kiss. Kurt didn't care that a small crowd had accumulated around them and were now clapping and cheering. He just knew he felt more settled than he ever knew possible. Blaine was his. His future was with Blaine. And all his insecurities and fears had finally melted.


End file.
